I wasn't going to post anything SXSW related because, you know... I'm not there. But a friend sent me this link, and it's too good not to share. A writer for The Morning News listened to all of the official MP3s submitted by showcasing bands (763 of them) and wrote a six word review for every single one of them. The results are often hilarious. Some of my favorites (the links are for the band's SXSW profile, which has the song being reviewed)...
Air Traffic - "Turn away, Coldplay’s raping Maroon 5."
Castanets - "That guy singing backup? Kill him."
White Mice - "The sound of a rectum exploding."
Abra Moore - "Soft pink vagina frosted jazz cupcakes."
Swampmeat - "Perfect music for humping an alligator."
AM - "Someone’s been eating Hall and Oatesmeal."
Three Armada - "I’M PLAYING GUITAR WITH MY COCK!"
Capital K - "Acceptable—if they dress as wizards."
The Jonbenet - "One admires such remarkably vigorous stupidity."
Kevin Shields (not the MBV guy) - "Like a dog fucking a blender."
And a few of our local Nashville acts weren't spared...
We Were The States - "So derivative my intestines just prolapsed."
Alex Khoury - "This guitarist has too many feelings."
Be Your Own Pet - "Punky ladies sing goofy bicycle ditty."
The Clutters - (review of "9999 Ways To Hate Us") "I just found one more way."
Magic Wands - "I don’t feel like clapping along."
Not all of the reviews are negative, some of the tracks he really liked (the four and five star ratings are highlighted in bold). But it's understandable that after listening to that many songs in a short amount of time, you'd probably get quite pithy too.
Magnapop - "Texas" (mp3) from Hot Boxing
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