Brilliant

This is entirely awesome. Maybe a bit on the long side, but the payoff is worth it (you might see it coming, but that doesn't make it any less hilarious).

Thanks to Anna for the heads up.

The Great Rock and Roll Swindle

The practice of bonus tracks has become fairly commonplace over the past few years. The idea is that in exchange for increased advertising and in-store promotion, a retailer is given an exclusive bonus track with their version of whatever album they are selling. While it angers some fans and other retailers, it's really a pretty fair deal. If a company is going to go the extra mile to help promote an artist, they deserve to have an extra incentive for people to buy the album from them. Of course, any good idea is eventually going to be exploited.

Last week, the Smashing Pumpkins released their new album Zeitgeist, and three different retailers all got exclusive bonus tracks. Target's version contained the track "Zeitgest," while fans who bought the album at Best Buy got the song "Death From Above." And if you bought the album at iTunes, you received the track "Stellar." If you picked up the album anywhere else, you got the standard twelve song version. Feeling ripped off? I'm sure you could find the bonus tracks online if you looked hard enough.

I realize that record companies are trying to make up for declining album sales, but forcing hardcore fans to buy the same album three times reeks of a blatant cash grab. If the industry is still wondering why people don't want to shell out eighteen bucks for a CD anymore, consider this another shining example.

Spinal Tap - "Gimme Some Money" (mp3) from the This Is Spinal Tap soundtrack

Once Upon A Daydream

The Police
Churchill Downs, Louisville, KY
Saturday, July 14, 2007

For as long as I can remember, the top spot on the list of bands I wish I had seen live has been The Police. But they broke up when I was fourteen, and even if I had been old enough to go to concerts without my parents, Spokane, Washington was not a regular stop on most major rock acts itenerary. So when they announced their reunion tour back in February, the question wasn't if I was going to see them, but where.

The first thoughts my friend and I had when we made our way to our seats were "we paid $100 bucks for this?" Churchill Downs is a nice place to see a horse race, but unless you are in the four middle sections in front of the stage, is a lousy place to see a concert. We were WAY off to the left of the stage. We wondered if the ushers would let us sit up in the cheap seats in the grandstands, which we thought would have had better sightlines than where we were stuck (they did have large video screens spread out along the track, which helped). But once the final strains of Bob Marley's "Get Up, Stand Up" faded out and the stage lights started flickering, it suddently didn't matter where we were sitting. We were awestruck from the moment the fab three walked onstage and began blazing through "Message In A Bottle," through the final encore of "Next To You."

Honestly, I didn't expect them to be as fantastic as they were. The last couple of TV appearances I'd seen of them (their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction in 2003, and their Grammy performance earlier this year) were good, but hardly great. And the reviews of the tour so far have been a mixed bag. But they truly were amazing. I expected to enjoy it, but I didn't think they would have that much energy and enthusiasm almost 25 years later.

Apart from lowering the key of "Don't Stand So Close To Me" substantially, Sting's voice showed few signs of age. Stewart Copeland demonstrated why so many drummers (and non-percussive minded people as well) consider him a god. It was obvious throughout the set that he was thrilled to be playing these songs with these guys again. But Andy Summers was the real star of the show. He has spent the last 20 years making jazz albums, and his chops were amazing. As good a guitarist as he was during the band's heyday, he's even better now; some of his solos bordered on shredding.

The band gave many of the songs a fresh coat of paint, with new intros and altered middle parts that managed to spice things up but still sound like the actual songs you remembered. "Wrapped Around Your Finger" got a half-acoustic treatment that gave me goosepumps, and "Invisible Sun" sounded fittingly more agressive with a new extended introduction. Even "Walking In Your Footsteps," which might rank as my least favorite Police song, sounded great in a new, more rocking arrangement. The setlist struck a perfect balance between the hits and some deeper album cuts, such as "The Bed's Too Big Without You" and a fantastic medley of "Voices Inside My Head" and "When The World Is Running Down, You Make The Best Of What's Still Around." On the drive home Sunday, I kept having to pinch myself to realize that not only had I finally seen my dream concert, but it was better than I ever hoped it would be.

The Louisville Courier-Journal has several photo galleries from the show, as well as a complete setlist.

I've posted several live Police tracks over the past few months, and since I couldn't dig up any recordings from the current tour, I thought I'd go in a different direction and give you this little treat... Sting's original demo of possibly my favorite Police song. It's funny to think that this song, a single from Ghost In The Machine, was written before all of the punk-ish tunes on Outandos D'Amour.

Sting - "Everything Little Thing She Does Is Magic (1976 demo)" (mp3) from Strontium 90 - Police Academy

Westerberg High

With Lost, 24 and The Office all on summer hiatus, my current favorite show is VH1's World Series of Pop Culture. I've spent the last couple of nights screaming at the television at moments like tonight, when not one, but two morons didn't recognize the lyrics to "Billie Jean." It's simply the best game show since Rock and Roll Jeopardy.

When they showed previews for tomorrow night's episode, I had to do a double-take, because I recognized one of the contestants; Eric Melin, who used to be the drummer for one of the best bands you've probably never heard of, Ultimate Fakebook. I saw them play at a record store called Balcony Lights when I lived in Las Vegas, and it was one of my top 20 best concerts ever. That may not seem that impressive, but I've seen a LOT of shows.

If I were a gambling man, I'd bet the house on Melin's team, Westerburg High, to win it all. Their cool quotient is off the charts, having named themselves after a pop culture reference of a pop culture reference (Westerburg High was the school in Heathers, and a homage to The Replacements frontman). They also patterned their t-shirts on the Cheap Trick logo. But while all that is cool on the surface, what really makes me believe in these guys is that they know their shit. Eric used to write movie reviews on the UFB website while the band was on tour, and the guy knows his pop culture. If his compadres are even half as well versed in worthless trivia as he is, they should be unstoppable.

Given the subject of this post, this is definitely the most appropriate UFB song for me to share with you. It's easily the greatest pop/punk song ever written about a blockbuster sci-fi prequel.

Ultimate Fakebook - "Far, Far Away" (mp3) from This Will Be Laughing Week

Pig and Elephant DNA Just Won't Splice

I used to think that Puff Daddy was the worst thing that could ever happen to a Police song. But it turns out I was wrong. To close the Live Earth concert in New York (er, New Jersey, whatever) last night, The Police brought out John Mayer and Kanye West to perform "Message In A Bottle." It started out surprisingly well, with Mayer faithfully playing the greatest opening riff ever. And then halfway through the song, Kanye comes out and starts with some terrible, inane freestyling. To call it a trainwreck would be generous. Don't belive me? Watch it yourself.

You can watch all of the Live Earth performance on demand here. I recommend starting with Spinal Tap.

Firecrackin' on the 4th of July

What's not to like about the 4th of July? And extra day off in the middle of summer, barbeques, fireworks (which I'll never get tired of no matter how old I get)... it's entirely awesome. So here are a couple of songs for your Independence Day enjoyment.

David Lee Roth - "Yankee Rose" (mp3) from Eat Em' And Smile

A love song to the Statue of Liberty, and the best Van Halen song that Van Halen never recorded. Let's be honest... it was all downhill for Dave after this.

Frank Sinatra & Bing Crosby - "You Never Had It So Good" (mp3) from the Complete Reprise Recordings box set

In 1964, Ol' Blue Eyes and Der Bingle teamed up with the Fred Waring Singers to record an album of unbridled patriotism, America, I Hear You Singing. I've heard about half the songs on the album, and even though some of the vocal arrangements can be a bit overbearing at times, this Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen tune is one of my favorites.

The Beach Boys - "4th Of July" (mp3) from the Good Vibrations box set

I've always associated the Beach Boys with this holiday more than any other artist. It's probably because of the annual concerts they staged at the National Mall in Washington, DC during the early 80s. This Dennis Wilson song was recorded in 1970 and intended for the Surf's Up album, but was pulled during an argument among the Wilson brothers over the album's sequencing. It's amazing that a song this good was allowed to sit in the vaults for 23 years, and it's also a testament to the fact that Brian Wilson wasn't the only creative talent in the band (though his arrangement and production is surely part of what makes this song so good).

Have a happy (and safe) fourth everyone!!!